When I say I am exhausted, I mean: I can not remember what I am doing from one moment to the next. Fiction conflates with reality, and I do not know if the person I know is a character from a book or someone I went to college with. Did I feed the dog? Or [...]
I know you. I know who you are. I may not know your name. But I KNOW you. I AM you. I’d like to tell you a few things. First, let me say that I know at no point in your life that you choose to be the way you are. I know you didn’t [...]
The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either. Ask friends of mine to name a quality about me, and one a lot them will point out the fact that I am almost always smiling. However, what a lot of people do not see is that I have [...]
We continue to find increasingly new ways to stay busy from making our own bread (and muffins, and pizza dough, and basically anything we can think of from the extra sourdough starter to avoid food waste) to taking several extra minutes just to whip up our coffee so we can share a fun video and [...]
So, you finished rehab. You’re sober now. Living in a halfway house. Waking up early to catch the bus to a job that barely pays the bills. You’re splitting a fridge with three other addicts, Listening to them fight over food or relapse excuses, Trying to stay focused on your own lane — your own [...]
“If they are showing you who they are and not who you perceive them to be, let them.” — Cassie Phillips If people misunderstand you to be someone you’re not and hate you for it, let them. If people take your presence for granted every single time and never really cared for your feelings, let [...]
He Dated Me to See If He Could Be Loved Without Deserving It He never looked at me like someone he loved. He looked at me like someone who might be dumb enough to love him anyway. That’s the part that still cuts. It wasn’t romance, it was a social experiment. A test. A “let’s [...]
I almost forgot this is the whole point There are days when the world becomes blurry. Not because my vision falters, but because I stop seeing. I wake up, and everything feels like a checklist. Breathe. Work. Smile. Answer. Pretend. Sleep. Repeat. Life is reduced to a loop of survival. It’s not that I’m sad. [...]
Let me hit you with something you probably haven’t heard from your therapist because they’re too busy validating your heartbreak: You didn’t lose your soulmate. You lost your fucking illusion. And I get it — that hurts more. Because the fantasy? It was perfect.It made you feel chosen.It gave your chaos a purpose.It was your [...]
What if all my trying only gets me close, but not quite. Have you ever tried so hard that your bones remember the weight of the effort, even when your mind has already begun to forget? I have. There are nights when I lie awake and think about all the versions of myself I’ve given [...]
Perfectly Imperfect 